When I think back to the times in my adult life when I have been the happiest, I realize that it boils best down to validation. As a former collegiate athlete, I have experienced some of the purest forms of ecstasy in life after winning championship rowing races. That feeling of immense satisfaction and validation of the months spent in grueling physical and mental training was like a drug. I could revel in its afterglow for days at a time and to this day I look back on those moments with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia.
After college, I took up coaching and found that I could derive a similar sense of accomplishment by helping others achieve their goals. As a soccer coach, I found it incredibly rewarding to watch players develop technical skill and game awareness across a wide variety of ages. I coached 8 year old boys, 10 year old girls, and a middle school soccer team. In some strange sense I could relive the thrill of competition and accomplishment vicariously through them.
Aside from seeking validation for my pursuits in life, I strive to live up to these 5 core values:
I know it sounds a bit cliche to have Faith and Family fill in the number 1 and 2 spot on my list, but since having a daughter the idea of having and belonging to a family has become a lot more important to me. Similarly, my Christian faith has become very important to me in giving me hope in the darker seasons of my life. This has especially been true through the hardships that I have endured in my personal and professional life over the past 2-3 years.
Leadership and mentorship are also very important to me as a coach and former teacher. In light of the struggles I have faced in my life I hope to pay it forward and help other young adults and children as they work through their own issues. Lastly, introspection is a something that I have always been very keen on because I feel that it helps me become a better person. In my relationships with others in my personal life as well as my professional life I always try to internalize and focus on what I could to better and how I could improve. I feel as though this encourages others to do the same and much of this humility comes through my faith and all the mistakes I have made in life.
The last topic anyone asked me for advice on was relationships. In fact, I feel like that seems to be the most frequent area of advice from my friends and colleagues. I have many female friends who always ask me for my perspective as a male, and I have had a couple good guy friends ask me fore advice about a relationship issue.
I don't think anyone seems to catch the irony that they are asking for advice from a guy with a track record of poor relationships, but that is perhaps another matter.
I do feel as though my values will help me alleviate stereotype threat because I am very analytical and self-concious. I am usually hyper sensitive about how others perceive what I say and do, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes this can lead to a lot of insecurity, but if tempered it can really improve the relationships I have with others because I am usually looking internally to see what I might be able to change for the better.
As I mentioned previously, my introspective qualities often cast a lot of self-doubt over the decisions that I make in life. I have struggled with bouts of depression and anxiety on and off for several years now. One of the things that I know helps alleviate feeling down is having a routine and staying active. Releasing endorphins and feeling accomplished both after a long day of work and some form of excercise helps me relax and stay positive.
I also know that I have to talk through my problems, and that I have always benefitted greatly from having a mentor to talk to. I really hope there is a structure for this at DBC and if not I will try and seek out someone that I can bounce some of my thoughts off of. I find that if I get my thoughts out by writing or talking that they don't bounce around as much inside my head. Sometimes I just need to vent to feel better, and sometimes I need encouragement from other people to validate what I am going through; to know that I am not alone.
Coming Soon!
Copyright Jordan M. Schreuder 2014